NYC LGBTQIA+ Couples Therapy
Professional, affirmative support to help your relationship thrive
Over 8 years of experience working with LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples in NYC
Trained in LGBTQIA+ affirmative therapy and trauma-informed care
Expertise in navigating identity, sexual orientation, intimacy, communication, and life transitions
Integrative approach using psychodynamic, mindfulness, and CBT techniques
EMDR-trained to support healing from relational and attachment wounds
Inclusive, sex-positive, and kink- and poly-affirming practice
Safe, compassionate space for exploring conflict, connection, and growth together
Meet your NYC LGBTQIA+ couples therapist
Lucas Saiter, LMHC
I'm a licensed psychotherapist with over 8 years of experience supporting LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples in navigating identity, relationships, mental health, and emotional well-being. I specialize in couples therapy that is affirming, collaborative, and grounded in deep respect for each partner’s unique experience. My approach integrates psychodynamic, mindfulness-based, and cognitive-behavioral techniques to help couples understand relational patterns, improve communication, and reconnect with empathy and intention.
I’m trained in LGBTQIA+ affirmative therapy and take a trauma-informed lens to help couples explore how past experiences may shape present relationship challenges. I’m also EMDR-trained, which allows me to support partners who are healing from relational trauma, attachment injuries, or internalized shame. Whether you're navigating conflict, sexual orientation, gender identity, opening your relationship, struggling with intimacy, or adjusting to major life transitions, I offer a warm and inclusive space where all identities, genders, and relationship structures are respected.
Together, we’ll work to foster greater understanding, safety, and connection in your relationship—helping you move toward the kind of partnership you want to build.
My approach to LGBTQIA+ couples counseling
My approach to LGBTQ couples therapy is compassionate, curious, and collaborative. I help partners identify the patterns that keep them stuck—whether those involve communication breakdowns, intimacy struggles, or unresolved wounds—and guide them in developing healthier, more connected ways of relating. I draw from psychodynamic therapy to explore how early relationships shape current dynamics, cognitive-behavioral techniques to shift unhelpful thought and behavior patterns, and mindfulness practices to build emotional awareness and regulation in the moment.
When working with the LGBTQ community, I bring a deep understanding of the ways identity, marginalization, and cultural or familial factors can create relationship issues. My practice is LGBTQIA+ affirmative, trauma-informed, and inclusive of diverse relationship structures, including polyamory, kink, and non-traditional partnerships. I pay close attention to how external stressors, such as discrimination, internalized shame, or gender role expectations, may surface in a couple’s dynamic, and create a space where all identities are affirmed and understood.
What makes my work unique is my ability to hold complexity with care: honoring each partner’s voice while guiding the couple toward deeper connection, resilience, and growth. I help couples not just resolve conflict, but rediscover intimacy, strengthen their emotional bond, and cultivate long-lasting resilience in their relationship.
How to get started
Step 1: Reach Out
Use the contact form on my website or send me an email to introduce yourself and share a bit about what brings you to couples therapy. No need to add specific details, we can discuss what brings you in in more depth during the phone consultation. I’ll get back to you within 1–2 business days.
Step 2: Schedule a Free Consultation
We’ll set up a free 30-minute phone consultation to discuss your needs, answer any questions, and see if we’re a good fit. This is a no-pressure space to talk about your goals, learn more about my approach, and get a feel for how I work.
Step 3: Book Your First Session
If we decide to move forward, we’ll find a time that works for you and schedule your first session. Whether you’re starting therapy to address conflict, deepen connection, or navigate a transition, we’ll begin the process with care and clarity—at a pace that feels right for both of you.
Common reasons why people start couples therapy
Couples seek therapy for many different reasons, some come to work through relationship conflicts, others want to strengthen their connection or navigate major life changes. For LGBTQIA+ couples, therapy can also help create a safe space for gender identity exploration, navigating family dynamics, sex therapy, or issues unique to queer relationships. Below are some common relationship challenges that bring same sex couples to therapy:
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Many couples struggle to express themselves clearly or feel truly heard by their partner. Therapy can help break cycles of misunderstanding and foster more open, empathetic dialogue.
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Changes in emotional or physical intimacy are common in long-term healthy relationships. I help couples explore their needs, reconnect with desire, and navigate sex and intimacy in ways that feel safe and affirming.
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LGBTQIA+ couples often face external stressors like discrimination, lack of family support, or legal and cultural barriers. These can create strain in a relationship. Therapy can help couples navigate these relationship unique challenges and pressures together.
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Infidelity, for example, whether emotional, physical, or digital, can deeply impact trust and safety in a relationship. For LGBTQIA+ couples, this may also bring up unique questions around community and belonging. In therapy, I help couples process the hurt, understand what led to the rupture, and explore whether and how to rebuild trust. Together, we create space for accountability, healing, and clarity about the future of the relationship.
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Changes in relationship dynamics can be challenging. Whether exploring polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, or shifting relationship agreements, therapy supports honest conversations around trust, boundaries, and shared values.
When another practice might be a better fit for your needs
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We’re not equipped to provide emergency or crisis services. If you or your partner are experiencing suicidal thoughts, domestic violence, or are in immediate danger, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call 911, or reach out to your nearest emergency room.
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We do not provide court-mandated or forensic therapy. If you're seeking therapy to fulfill a legal requirement, it’s best to work with a provider who specializes in court documentation and reporting.
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If you or your partner are struggling with active substance dependence or unmanaged severe mental health concerns, you may benefit from more specialized care. The LGBT Center in NYC is a good resource for referrals to appropriate services.
FAQs about LGBTQIA+ couples counseling
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Yes, it’s completely normal for unmarried couples to go to therapy. Many couples choose to start counseling before major commitments (like moving in together, getting engaged, or having children) as a proactive way to strengthen their connection and address challenges early on.
Couples therapy isn’t just for those in crisis or in a long-term relationship; it’s a valuable resource at any stage of a relationship. Whether you're dating, newly committed, or navigating a long-term partnership, therapy can help you build communication skills, deepen emotional intimacy, resolve conflicts, and clarify your shared goals.
This is especially true for LGBTQIA+ couples, who may be navigating unique dynamics around identity, family expectations, or societal pressures. My practice affirms and welcomes all relationship structures, including non-monogamous, polyamorous, and non-traditional partnerships. Regardless of how long you’ve been together or what your relationship looks like, therapy offers a space to explore, grow, and move forward together.
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There’s no one-size-fits-all or “best” type of therapy for LGBTQ+ couples. What works well for one couple may not be the right fit for another. While certain therapeutic approaches, like emotionally focused therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, or psychodynamic therapy, can be helpful for many couples, the most important factor in effective therapy is the quality of the relationship between the couple and their therapist.
For LGBTQ+ couples, it’s especially important to work with a therapist who is affirming, culturally competent, and understands the unique stressors and strengths that can shape queer relationships. An inclusive therapist creates a space where all identities are respected, and where partners can explore issues like communication, intimacy, and identity without fear of judgment or misunderstanding.
What makes therapy truly effective is feeling seen, heard, and supported. That’s why I tailor my approach to the needs of each couple, drawing from modalities like psychodynamic therapy, mindfulness, EFT, CBT, and trauma-informed care. The goal is to co-create a space where you and your partner can strengthen your connection, work through challenges, and build a relationship that feels aligned and resilient.
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Finding an LGBTQIA+ affirmative therapist can feel daunting, but there are several resources designed to help you connect with affirming, culturally competent providers. Directories like Psychology Today, TherapyDen, and the National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network (NQTTCN) allow you to filter by LGBTQIA+ identity, specialization, and approach. If you're in NYC, local organizations like The LGBT Center and Callen-Lorde also offer therapy services and referrals.
To determine if a therapist is LGBTQIA+ affirming, don’t hesitate to ask direct questions during your initial consultation. You might ask: What is your experience working with LGBTQIA+ individuals or couples? How do you approach issues related to identity, discrimination, or non-traditional relationships? An affirming therapist should welcome these questions and respond with openness, clarity, and respect.
Look for inclusive language on their website, mention of LGBTQIA+ training or affiliations, and a demonstrated understanding of intersectional issues. Ultimately, trust your instincts. Therapy should feel like a space where all parts of your identity and relationship are seen, respected, and supported.
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Couples therapy can be a powerful tool for improving relationship satisfaction, and research supports its effectiveness. According to Psychology Today, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), one of the most well-researched approaches to couples therapy, has shown that about 70–75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and 90% show significant improvements in their relationships. These outcomes are consistent across diverse populations and relational challenges.
Of course, there’s no guarantee that therapy will “save” a relationship—but it often leads to greater emotional insight, better communication, and deeper connection. In my experience, couples who are open, engaged, and willing to explore their patterns often leave therapy with a stronger sense of partnership and clarity about their path forward.
It’s also important to remember that the success of therapy depends not only on the method used, but also on the strength of the therapeutic relationship and the couple’s readiness to do the work. Whether your goal is to heal, grow, or part ways more peacefully, couples therapy can offer support, structure, and transformation at any stage.
Start working with a New York LGBTQIA+ couples counselor today
If you and your partner are looking for a supportive space to deepen your connection, navigate challenges, or build a more fulfilling relationship, I’m here to help. As a New York–based LGBTQIA+ couples therapist, my mission is to offer compassionate, affirming care that honors your unique identities, values, and relationship structure. I draw from evidence-based modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy, mindfulness, and psychodynamic techniques to help couples improve communication, rebuild trust, and grow together.
I understand that LGBTQIA+ relationships are often shaped by additional layers and unique challenges, such as societal pressures, identity exploration, or chosen family dynamics. My approach is warm, collaborative, and rooted in respect for the experiences that shape who you are and how you love. My mission is to help you find access to quality mental health support.
If you’re ready to explore how therapy can support your relationship, I invite you to reach out. Scheduling a free 30-minute consultation is the first step. We’ll talk about your needs, answer your questions, and see whether we’re a good fit. Let’s begin the work of helping your relationship thrive.